The Red Threads

I think it was just a day after I submitted our letter of intent to adopt Fu that I got a phone call from his host family.  Turns out they had suffered a loss in the family the same week we were trying to make a decision on whether or not this boy, Fu, was meant to be our son.  The family had to go out of town, but she called me soon after she returned home.

She told me that she and her children just LOVE Fu.  She told me that he had mentioned that he would love to have lots of brothers and sisters.  What can I say?  I aim to please!

She told me about his personality, his determination, and about how she was able to take him to the dentist and optometrist.  She told me that he had terrible vision, but that they were able to get him a pair of glasses so he could see clearly.  She wasn't sure how long they'd hold up, but it was something.

Emotions and tears started to well up inside of me.  This boy will soon be my son and another family took him in, showed him kindness, and met some of his needs before I was able to get to him.  This is love.

During our conversation, I learned more about this boy and his story than I could have ever known just from reading his file.  I gained insight into his perspective on adoption.  It better prepared me for his future.  The things I learned were a treasure to me.  I was so thankful that he had this opportunity to be hosted in the United States.  I had pictures of his visit with his host family.  I had a more recent update (from them) on how he was doing physically.  What a gift!

All that they have been able to share has been a tremendous gift as I wait.  I was so thankful for this woman's call.

You would have thought that waiting to receive Pre-Approval from China would have been excruciating, especially over the Chinese New Year holiday, but it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.  Our agency sent me plenty to read through, including an "Older Child Toolkit."  As I read through it, I really started to wonder if this boy would be better off if he had a Chinese sibling.  I went back to the waiting child page and looked back at a post about a very specific boy.  He also had cerebral palsy.  I had looked at his pictures several times, and watched his video over and over again.


  Hmmmmmmm. 

We'd been matched, and there would not be another call about another child.  But what if I called about another child?

So one early evening, my husband and I went on a date.  I casually brought up adopting a second boy.

"If we are taking one boy to therapy, how much more work is it to take another?  We can make back-to-back appointments."  I suggested.

"NO."  He said.

But I wasn't giving up that easy.  "But from what I've read, it is actually very beneficial for older children to be adopted with another child around the same age..."  I persisted.

"No."

"Look," I continued.  "I'm not saying we are definitely supposed to do it," And then I made my next move...

"I'm just asking you to pray about it."

Oh yeah.  I played that card.

He reasoned why it would be too much.  He was right, but something in me told me that we were supposed to do more.

I said it again.  "I'm just asking you to pray about.  If you pray about it and can come back to me saying that after praying, we aren't supposed to do this, then I'll let it go."

He prayed about it right there while we were in the car.  I didn't even know he was doing it.  After a while, Scott let out a long, heavy sigh.  By that time, I wasn't even thinking about the conversation, so I was a little thrown off.

"What is it?"  I asked.  "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."  He answered.  "I just prayed about it, and I know what we're supposed to do."

Again, we talked about our blessings.  We have more than we could ever want or need.  We have a great marriage, children who are open to adoption, and a house big enough to shelter more children.

Our biggest concern was how much more it would cost to adopt a second child.

I emailed and called our agency, being sure to ask about this other cutie.   One of the ladies responded, offering to send me an information packet to help me determine the cost.  She also said,

And yes, Shi is indeed still looking for his forever family, so please let me know if you find yourselves interested in viewing his file. 

Not even a wait list!

Needless to say, we asked for the file and let the agency know that we absolutely intended to review his file and consider him for adoption.

Then, I did something I am normally TERRIBLE at doing.  On March 4th, 2015, I wrote the doctor who previously reviewed Fu's file.  In the subject line, I wrote: Can I Ask For One More Favor?

I hate asking for help.  I hate inconveniencing other people, especially when I know that they are busy.  But he was the only one I knew I could ask.

I told him we had seven days to make a decision on adopting him.  He responded immediately, letting me know he was looking at the information.   He contacted me again with feedback less than 24 hours later.  He gave me all the information I needed to feel we were moving in the right direction. God bless that man!

On top of that, I talked to Shi's host mom.  Once again, there were more loops in our red thread.  I'd mentioned we used to live in North Carolina.  She asked me where and when I told her, she gasped and then told me, "That's where I live!!!"

What are the odds that our two families had lived in the same state?  Then narrowing it down even closer, what are the odds that our two families lived in the same town where only about 48,000 people reside?  I just simply could not believe that chance would have this family host a little boy that I was so drawn to.  He was meant to be mine.

This woman and her family live where we came from before moving to Florida.  It took us moving to Florida to find this little boy through our agency.  I continued to be blown away by the many ways God moved our hearts and showed us evidence of His hand working in this adoption journey.

The best part of finding out this Shi's host family live in this town, was knowing that we have friends who live close enough that when we go to visit them, we can easily set up a time to meet up with this host family so that Shi can see them again.  What a gift!  

As we talked, this host mom gave me the gift of information just as the other host mom did.

She was able to ease my concerns that Shi would be able to attach and bond with our family.

She told me about how easy it was for her family to fall in love with this boy.

She told me that she and her girls pray for Shi and have been praying for him to have a Christian family.

They were praying for us and didn't even know who we were.  Now they know.

On March 5th, I wrote our agency.  In the subject line, I wrote:

"We want Shi!"

With that email, I attached more paperwork knowing it had to be done.  

The very next day, our agency contacted us with big news.

March 6th: Your Pre-Approval!

The CCCWA received our letter of intent to adopt Fu.  This pre-approval meant that they agreed to review and process our file once we submit our dossier.  This meant that our agency could now go ahead and submit our second letter of intent for Shi.  They'd told me they were going to have to wait until we received pre-approval for Fu, and the very next day, we did!

With a grateful heart, I celebrated our first pre-approval and willed myself to keep this exciting news off the internet.  When we got pre-approval for Shi, we'd share our story about the two red threads that tugged at our hearts and led us on a journey to China.  Until then, we'd wait just a little while longer.

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