The Red Thread Continues: Finding Help

I watched him punching away at the numbers on his laptop.  He was focused.  Determined is a better word.  I've always loved him, but ever since we started this adoption journey, I’ve fallen in love with my husband all over again.  Little by little I’ve tested him to see just what limits he might set throughout this process.  Each time he has surprised me with his responses.  

Seeing the way he took on the many challenges presented to him, ("Let's adopt two boys with Cerebral Palsy!"), my admiration has only grown.  This hard working man who has already raised two grown men is willing to rearrange his life for two little boys he’s never met.  He’s willing to sacrifice time, money, and even advancing in his career for the sake of these two orphans.  I’m blown away with what he’s willing to let go of for the sake of others.  I’m thankful he is my partner in life.  

As he continued to work at the numbers, I walked away, willing myself to give him space while he tried to figure it out.  After our walk, we knew we had to figure out a practical solution to our dilemma.  We were about to adopt two boys who know only a few words in English.  They are older, meaning they will have even more challenges adjusting to the American life as they say goodbye to the only life they've ever known in their own country.  They will not come into our country and carry on as if they’ve always lived here.  Everything they’ve ever known will be different: The people, the food, the customs, the holidays, the language, and even the time zone.  When we sleep, they are awake.  When we are awake, they sleep.  Everything will be foreign to them. 

To really add to the challenge, both boys have Cerebral Palsy.  This means that once we get them in America, they will be visiting English speaking doctors, specialists, dentists, and therapists.  I imagine we will feel swamped with just the appointments, but to explain to them what is going on?  On top of it, we've been homeschooling our other children.  How can we possibly keep up?

Scott and I had so many things to figure out.  The first thing we knew:  We need help.

"We could do it..." Looking up from his computer, he gave me the results.  "It'll be tight, but we can." 

Were we really considering this?  I looked at my husband as he reworked one more number on the spreadsheet.  I was shocked.  I really didn't think it was a possibility!   We were going to have to make some changes, but this solution we were considering was really a possibility!  

Never in my life did I see myself doing this.  I am a private person and I love my space.  There are times I just need to be alone to recharge.  We are about to disrupt everyone's little worlds by bringing in two Chinese boys.  Are we crazy to consider bringing in one more stranger?  

Nobody would have been able to convince me that I’d ever agree to something like this.  I’ve always been so self-sufficient.  I’ve even struggled to hire someone to come clean my house for me.  Scott has encouraged me to do it, but when it comes down to making the phone call, I. Just. Can’t.  It’s my house, my mess, I’ll clean it up!

But this “mess” was different.  This chaos involved the lives of several little children.  I knew deep down inside that this was the right decision.  It humbled me, in a sense, because I always pictured rich, spoiled housewives who had no real interest in raising their children doing something like this.  God continues to reveal to me where I am judgmental.  To all the families who have done this before, I am sorry.  You are brilliant.  

This was the solution.  We would gain cultural training, have a live in translator, comfort for the boys, extra hands with all the kids, and someone to help me teach when I was feeling overwhelmed over the next year.

So we submitted our application.  It took several days due to some glitches on the site, but once everything was resolved, we started yet another process that would change our world.  Before we knew it, we had access to the personal lives of many young people who were looking for adventure.  

We narrowed down our search:

Female
Chinese
Speaks Mandarin
Speaks English

Soon enough, we were ready to interview a few.  We wrote a letter and included our adoption announcement video.  We shared our story and asked them to consider being a part of our journey.  

Many wrote back very polite responses.  

“I am so happy for you.” 
“Thank you for what you are doing for these Chinese boys.”
“Good luck!”

They were all polite ways of saying, “Thanks, but no thanks.”  

I was a little overwhelmed by how many immediately declined our invitation.  It made me nervous.  What were we getting ourselves into?  Here, I thought that we were going to have to decline many, but instead, they were very quickly narrowing down our search themselves!

“Here’s one,” Scott suggested.  “Hmmmmmm.  She’s catholic!”  

“That could work,” I thought.  She could go to mass with my friend! We could help her get connected. But even the sweet catholic Chinese girl declined our invitation to skype and get to know each other.  

This was going to be harder than I thought.  But one thing I knew, we needed help.  We couldn’t do this alone.  

We would find our au pair!








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